Old Wives Tales

So I occasionally read what I affectionately call the "Crazy lady birth board" which is an internet message board for ladies also due in August 2013. And by occasionally, I mean it's like a car wreck and I can't stop looking even though I know it's so wrong. And Nick doesn't seem to appreciate all the updates I share with him, but I can't help it. I'm a feminist and don't want to think this way, but ladies are nuts.

Anyway, one lady posted a collection of old wives' tales so now that I know about the Girl Cannoli, I thought I'd review the tales and see how many were right:

Old Wives Tale #1: Heart Rate If the baby's heart rate is above 140 bpm, it is said that the baby will be a girl. If it is under 140 bpm, then it will be a boy.

Prediction: Girl

Old Wives Tale #2: Shape of Belly
If you are carrying high with a big, round belly, you are having a girl. If you are carrying low with a smaller belly that sticks straight out, it's a boy. 

Prediction: Boy

Old Wives Tale #3: Ring Test
Using a string, hang your wedding ring over your pregnant belly. You are having a girl if the ring swings back and forth and it's a boy if it swings in a circle.

Prediction: What? Eh, I didn’t do this.

Old Wives Tale #4: Acne
If you have acne while pregnant, it's a girl. It is thought that acne during pregnancy is caused by the extra hormones.

Prediction: Girl. I look like a 15 year old right now.

Old Wives Tale #5: Cravings
People believe that if you are craving salty foods while pregnant, you can count on having a boy. If you crave sweets, fruit, and orange juice, you are having a little girl.

Prediction: Girl

Old Wives Tale #6: Time of Conception
The person that is most aggressive in bed at the time of conception is the opposite of what the baby will be.

Prediction: Uh, I guess girl.

Old Wives Tale #7: Legs
If your legs get really big, you're having a boy. If your legs stay in shape and lean, it' a girl.

Prediction: Girl.

Old Wives Tale #8: Moodiness
If you are really moody, you are having a girl since you have extra girl hormones in you. Your pregnancy will make you smile and be more happy if you are having a boy because there's a little penis inside you.

Prediction: Boy. That sentence about the little penis creeps me out.

Old Wives Tale #9: Chinese Gender Chart
The Chinese Gender Chart claims to have an accuracy rate of over 90%. It is based on how old the mother is at conception and the month that she conceived.

Prediction: Boy.

Old Wives Tale #10: Mom's Beauty
Basically you are having a girl if your beauty disappears during pregnancy. It is said that the girl "steals" the mother's beauty. If you think that pregnancy has never made you look more beautiful, a little boy it is.

Prediction: Girl, I guess, due to zitsplosion on my face.

Old Wives Tale #11: Dream of Sex of Baby
If you have dreams that you are having a boy, you will have a girl. If you dream about having a girl, it will be a boy. Dreams show the opposite of what you are having. 

Prediction: Boy. I had one dream and our baby was Indian and had huge curly hair and a big nose.

Old Wives Tale #12: Clumsy vs. Graceful
If the pregnant woman is graceful throughout her pregnancy, she's having a girl. If she becomes clumsy, she's having a boy.

Prediction: I wouldn’t say I’ve been particularly graceful or clumsy. Pass.

Old Wives Tale #13: Side You Most Rest On
If a pregnant woman prefers to lay on her left side, she's having a boy. If she prefers resting on her right side, she's having a girl.

Prediction: Boy. This one is stupid.

Old Wives Tale #14: Dad's Weight Gain
If the dad-to-be gains weight while you are pregnant, it's a girl. If he doesn't gain weight, you're having a boy.

Prediction: Girl. Sorry, Nick.

Old Wives Tale #15: Breast Test
If a pregnant woman's left breast is larger than the right breast, she's having a girl. If the right breast is larger, it's a boy.

Prediction: Girl. But it’s always been this way.

Old Wives Tale #16: What Do You Think?
71% of the time, the mom-to-be knows what she is having.

Prediction: Boy.

Old Wives Tale #17: Morning Sickness
If you had a smooth pregnancy with no morning sickness, it's a boy. If you were sick or felt really nauseous during your pregnancy, count on a girl.

Prediction: Boy

Old Wives Tale #18: Areolae
If your areolae have darkened, it's a boy. If they haven't, its a girl.

Prediction: Boy.

Old Wives Tale #19: Protein
When a pregnant woman craves meat and cheese, count on a boy.

Prediction: Boy. For the first time in my life I expressed interest in a Philly cheesesteak.

Old Wives Tale #20: Feet
Are your feet colder now that you are pregnant? If so, you just might be having a boy. If your feet have stayed the same before pregnancy and during, you're having a little girl. 

Prediction: Girl

Old Wives Tale #21: Headaches
If you are having headaches, you might be carrying a boy.

Prediction: Boy.

Old Wives Tale #22: Baby Names
It is said that when you can only think of specific names for a boy or a girl, you will have that particularly baby.

Prediction: Girl. But I’ve been thinking of this particular girl name for years, and boys names are a lot less fun to think about.

Old Wives Tale #23: Urine
What color is your pee? If it is bright yellow, you will have a little boy. If your urine is a dull yellow, plan on a girl.

Prediction: I guess Girl, but I drink a lot of water. This seems like a hydration issue more than a baby thing.

TOTAL GIRL: 10
TOTAL BOY: 9
TOTAL INCONCLUSIVE: 2

20 weeks!

OK oops, I forgot to blog for like 3 months. I'm still here and still pregnant, and in fact am half way through!

Since my last blog post:
- I've gained a belly, and while I still feel energetic and pretty normal, I seem to be showing enough that random strangers ask me when I'm due. I'm still taken aback by this, and borderline offended until I remember that, oh right, I actually am pregnant and not just extra chubby. I still think those people are taking a risk and sometime I should be like "I'm not pregnant...(awkward silence)" just to be hilarious. But I probably won't.
- I've realized how terrible maternity clothes shopping is. I mean, really terrible, and I sort of don't get that. Ladies are pregnant all the time, you'd think this wouldn't be so bad.
- We found out we're having a Girl Cannoli! I really thought we were having a Dude Cannoli, but I was wrong. In my next post I'm going to examine all the old wives' tales with this pregnancy to see just how wrong they are.
- We've decided on a name, but we're keeping it top secret. I wouldn't even tell the cashier at Wegmans today in case my mother in law decided to question her (just kidding!).
- We've ordered a rug for the nursery and will start working on that soon.

Other than that, all is well. This has been such an easy pregnancy that I guess I can kind of see how some ladies don't know they're preggo. I mean, if you don't track your periods and sometimes go through chubby phases and have to pull out the fat jeans... I probably won't be saying this in a few short weeks though!