Baby's first year documented. OMG.

OK, now that I've finished blubbering like only a hormonal pregnant lady can, I need to share this.  This couple took video of their baby everyday, and mashed up 1 second from each day into this video of his entire first year. Incredible. I start getting emotional about halfway through and by the last scene with the birthday cupcake, it's a full-on ugly cry. Watch this. Not at work if you are prone to baby-induced tears.

A Second a Day from Birth. from Sam Christopher Cornwell on Vimeo.

Why do you ask?

5 weeks to go and dear lord am I sick of the ridiculous questions that people feel are totally ok to ask me because I'm pregnant.

Here are some of the goodies from the past few weeks:

- Are you sure there's only one in there? (A classic that many pregnant women hear).

- How many times a night do you get up to pee? (Asked by a woman on my floor whose name I don't even know...)

- Have you had any gas? (Nick said I should have replied with a toot).

I've decided that the best way to respond to these stupid questions is to say "why do you ask?" I feel like it's a dignified, non-offensive way of not responding and also (maybe) making the person reflect on how ridiculous it is to ask the particular question. I will note I've not been quick enough to actually use this line, usually I mutter something incomprehensible in shock and amazement. Maybe next time.

As for comments, add these to the hit parade:

- I swear every time I see her, I see more of that baby! (I was in the room, no need to address me in the third person. Or at all for that matter.)

- Melissa, you get larger every time I see you! (Said to me by someone who is bigger than me, even at 8 months pregnant. Just sayin'...).

- I was at the salon and the girl who waxed my eyebrows was pregnant. She told me she's due next week! You are bigger than her. (Said to me at 33 weeks. OK!)

And not that it's anyone's business, but after measuring large a few months ago I am now right on track. And also? Pregnant women are supposed to get bigger over time. I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing! Leave me alone.

Good general rule of thumb/PSA: Ask yourself: Would I ever say this to a non-pregnant lady? If the answer is no, hold your tongue.

My sister-in-law advises me that the next thing I have to look forward to is people telling me how to raise my baby. Oh joy!

Baby Shower Bliss

Yesterday Jessi, Katie and Sarah hosted our friends shower/barbecue in our backyard. It was fabulous. The girls decorated the yard, provided bugers, hots, salads, buckets of cold beers (alternates available for the preggos), and a gorgeous cake made by Jessi's mom. We even had a tent lined with onesies, and the perfect number and type of shower games - think people chugging beer out of baby bottles instad of poopy diaper games.

The whole day was so perfect. Watching Nick open gifts and announce what he thought the items were (pacifier covers, the StraddleMe) had me in fits of laughter. I think dudes need to be at baby showers more often. Being surrounded by great friends in our totally-underutilized backyard celebrating our soon-to-arrive Cannoli had me buzzing with love and a half smile for the rest of the day.

Here are some pictures we snapped.

Thank you, ladies so much for hosting such a great day! We couldn't be more grateful!

Kicks and rolls

Here I am, 31 weeks and 3 days. This Cannoli is growing fervently, though I learned that she is now the right size, not too big. Depending on how she is sitting, I can sometimes feel body parts through my belly. I can't tell what body parts, but sometimes there's a spot that's firmer than the rest, and sometimes the belly is a bit misshapen.  Occasionally she'll make such a big move that my whole abdomen shifts. Nothing painful, just a little startling.

Nick and I are halfway through our childbirth classes, being taught by Julia, our doula. We've watched 15 women give birth over three different natural childbirth videos. The first one was a total yikes for me, but I will say I'm feeling a bit more prepared. We've also worked on our birth plan using choice cards which help us understand the options we may face, and how they may impact other parts of labor as it progresses.

In our comfort measures session last week, Julia had us hold a bag of ice and timed us as if it were a contraction. We went through three rounds of this, testing in stages the various comfort measures she had taught us, like bouncing on the "birth ball", establishing a rhythm, having our partners massage, listening to music and vocalizing. I hadn't given much thought to the idea of having music in the room during labor, but the final ice-bag contraction seemed shorter, when in fact she had us going for almost two minutes. Turns out the combination of comfort measures is key to establishing that zone. Now, to find some music that won't drive me bonkers...

Nursery progress

Last night we made some major progress on our nursery. We moved out the rest of the miscellaneous crap that was in the room, put the crib together and put our ridiculously cute wall decals up and rug on the floor. As promised, a few photos:

We still have an adorable bear decal to add but we need till our nursery is more complete to know where the best spot is.

For real, could this be any cuter?

97 days to go

Til our due date, according to the BabyCenter app on my phone. Also. The baby looks like a baby and not a tadpole. The Cannoli is moving around a lot these days and sometimes I get some big jabs you can see from the outside which is pretty cool.

This was a crappy week for me in the medical system:
- I was the subject of a HIPAA breach at the lab above my OB's office. I still need to write a complaint (my second complaint about this lab in the last two months).
- I just barely failed my glucose challenge test. Agh, I am blaming the banana I had for breakfast before I took the test. What this means is Monday morning I have to do a three hour glucose test which involves drinking some nasty sugary drink and getting my blood drawn every hour for three hours. Terrible.
- And at my OB appt Monday my doctor said I'm measuring big and casually mentioned I may want to think about a c-section. Um, what? I'm semi surprised she would say this, especially this early. But I'm going to proceed with my doula and building our birth plan and if at my ultrasound in a few weeks we see some giant baby, who also is breech or some other valid reason for a major invasive surgery, then I guess I'll think about a c-section.

In other news, after wearing the same Walmart moomoo everyday for five days in a row, I went and bought another one in a different color. This is an excellent development. And tonight Dan and Lindsay are coming over to help us with the nursery, pics surely to follow.

I think I'm getting pretty excited for our Cannoli to arrive. Sometimes 14 weeks, 97 days, or 3 months (depending on your preferred time metric) seems so far away and other times I know it's just going to fly. I sort of can't picture our lives with a baby around but I guess that'll all take shape soon enough.

6 months

I know what you're thinking: worst blogger ever. Fair enough, but we literally just emerged from the worst month and the blog was not the priority. I'm sure I'll get around to writing something about April 2013 because this could be a healing exercise, but now isn't that time.

Fear not, our terrible month was not related to the pregnancy. Our Cannoli is growing well; at our appointment in the beginning of the month we learned she is in the 80th percentile for weight. She's moving a lot and we've been able to see some of her movement from the outside. I continue to rock this whole "being pregnant" thing - no illness, no excessive tiredness or physical symptoms, and loving the eating allowances I may be abusing (seriously work people, don't put cookies out if you don't want me to grab one every time I walk by). And, best news yet - our weather has finally turned and I can start wearing dresses. Have I mentioned how terrible maternity clothes are? I believe I have. Sundresses are going to save me for the next three months.

OMG three months.

Our nursery is underway, we've painted and ordered wall decals. We registered at BuyBuyBaby which was ridiculously intense, but luckily we had Lindsay to guide us and now Cannoli is gonna have some sweet swag when she comes here. We're going to be adults and meet with a financial advisor (Nick's brother) so we can maybe not be poor. And eventually we'll start looking into child care, so um, never-mind about that not being poor thing.

Old Wives Tales

So I occasionally read what I affectionately call the "Crazy lady birth board" which is an internet message board for ladies also due in August 2013. And by occasionally, I mean it's like a car wreck and I can't stop looking even though I know it's so wrong. And Nick doesn't seem to appreciate all the updates I share with him, but I can't help it. I'm a feminist and don't want to think this way, but ladies are nuts.

Anyway, one lady posted a collection of old wives' tales so now that I know about the Girl Cannoli, I thought I'd review the tales and see how many were right:

Old Wives Tale #1: Heart Rate If the baby's heart rate is above 140 bpm, it is said that the baby will be a girl. If it is under 140 bpm, then it will be a boy.

Prediction: Girl

Old Wives Tale #2: Shape of Belly
If you are carrying high with a big, round belly, you are having a girl. If you are carrying low with a smaller belly that sticks straight out, it's a boy. 

Prediction: Boy

Old Wives Tale #3: Ring Test
Using a string, hang your wedding ring over your pregnant belly. You are having a girl if the ring swings back and forth and it's a boy if it swings in a circle.

Prediction: What? Eh, I didn’t do this.

Old Wives Tale #4: Acne
If you have acne while pregnant, it's a girl. It is thought that acne during pregnancy is caused by the extra hormones.

Prediction: Girl. I look like a 15 year old right now.

Old Wives Tale #5: Cravings
People believe that if you are craving salty foods while pregnant, you can count on having a boy. If you crave sweets, fruit, and orange juice, you are having a little girl.

Prediction: Girl

Old Wives Tale #6: Time of Conception
The person that is most aggressive in bed at the time of conception is the opposite of what the baby will be.

Prediction: Uh, I guess girl.

Old Wives Tale #7: Legs
If your legs get really big, you're having a boy. If your legs stay in shape and lean, it' a girl.

Prediction: Girl.

Old Wives Tale #8: Moodiness
If you are really moody, you are having a girl since you have extra girl hormones in you. Your pregnancy will make you smile and be more happy if you are having a boy because there's a little penis inside you.

Prediction: Boy. That sentence about the little penis creeps me out.

Old Wives Tale #9: Chinese Gender Chart
The Chinese Gender Chart claims to have an accuracy rate of over 90%. It is based on how old the mother is at conception and the month that she conceived.

Prediction: Boy.

Old Wives Tale #10: Mom's Beauty
Basically you are having a girl if your beauty disappears during pregnancy. It is said that the girl "steals" the mother's beauty. If you think that pregnancy has never made you look more beautiful, a little boy it is.

Prediction: Girl, I guess, due to zitsplosion on my face.

Old Wives Tale #11: Dream of Sex of Baby
If you have dreams that you are having a boy, you will have a girl. If you dream about having a girl, it will be a boy. Dreams show the opposite of what you are having. 

Prediction: Boy. I had one dream and our baby was Indian and had huge curly hair and a big nose.

Old Wives Tale #12: Clumsy vs. Graceful
If the pregnant woman is graceful throughout her pregnancy, she's having a girl. If she becomes clumsy, she's having a boy.

Prediction: I wouldn’t say I’ve been particularly graceful or clumsy. Pass.

Old Wives Tale #13: Side You Most Rest On
If a pregnant woman prefers to lay on her left side, she's having a boy. If she prefers resting on her right side, she's having a girl.

Prediction: Boy. This one is stupid.

Old Wives Tale #14: Dad's Weight Gain
If the dad-to-be gains weight while you are pregnant, it's a girl. If he doesn't gain weight, you're having a boy.

Prediction: Girl. Sorry, Nick.

Old Wives Tale #15: Breast Test
If a pregnant woman's left breast is larger than the right breast, she's having a girl. If the right breast is larger, it's a boy.

Prediction: Girl. But it’s always been this way.

Old Wives Tale #16: What Do You Think?
71% of the time, the mom-to-be knows what she is having.

Prediction: Boy.

Old Wives Tale #17: Morning Sickness
If you had a smooth pregnancy with no morning sickness, it's a boy. If you were sick or felt really nauseous during your pregnancy, count on a girl.

Prediction: Boy

Old Wives Tale #18: Areolae
If your areolae have darkened, it's a boy. If they haven't, its a girl.

Prediction: Boy.

Old Wives Tale #19: Protein
When a pregnant woman craves meat and cheese, count on a boy.

Prediction: Boy. For the first time in my life I expressed interest in a Philly cheesesteak.

Old Wives Tale #20: Feet
Are your feet colder now that you are pregnant? If so, you just might be having a boy. If your feet have stayed the same before pregnancy and during, you're having a little girl. 

Prediction: Girl

Old Wives Tale #21: Headaches
If you are having headaches, you might be carrying a boy.

Prediction: Boy.

Old Wives Tale #22: Baby Names
It is said that when you can only think of specific names for a boy or a girl, you will have that particularly baby.

Prediction: Girl. But I’ve been thinking of this particular girl name for years, and boys names are a lot less fun to think about.

Old Wives Tale #23: Urine
What color is your pee? If it is bright yellow, you will have a little boy. If your urine is a dull yellow, plan on a girl.

Prediction: I guess Girl, but I drink a lot of water. This seems like a hydration issue more than a baby thing.

TOTAL GIRL: 10
TOTAL BOY: 9
TOTAL INCONCLUSIVE: 2

20 weeks!

OK oops, I forgot to blog for like 3 months. I'm still here and still pregnant, and in fact am half way through!

Since my last blog post:
- I've gained a belly, and while I still feel energetic and pretty normal, I seem to be showing enough that random strangers ask me when I'm due. I'm still taken aback by this, and borderline offended until I remember that, oh right, I actually am pregnant and not just extra chubby. I still think those people are taking a risk and sometime I should be like "I'm not pregnant...(awkward silence)" just to be hilarious. But I probably won't.
- I've realized how terrible maternity clothes shopping is. I mean, really terrible, and I sort of don't get that. Ladies are pregnant all the time, you'd think this wouldn't be so bad.
- We found out we're having a Girl Cannoli! I really thought we were having a Dude Cannoli, but I was wrong. In my next post I'm going to examine all the old wives' tales with this pregnancy to see just how wrong they are.
- We've decided on a name, but we're keeping it top secret. I wouldn't even tell the cashier at Wegmans today in case my mother in law decided to question her (just kidding!).
- We've ordered a rug for the nursery and will start working on that soon.

Other than that, all is well. This has been such an easy pregnancy that I guess I can kind of see how some ladies don't know they're preggo. I mean, if you don't track your periods and sometimes go through chubby phases and have to pull out the fat jeans... I probably won't be saying this in a few short weeks though!